What a Ride: The Wave of Withdrawals

First I must state that I am so very lucky to have found a doctor that’s not only compassionate, he knows his medicine. He knows about fibromyalgia, and is PROACTIVE and has seriously started to TREAT ME. Unlike the typical 6-8 minutes with the doctor, “so how’s the pain?” Well, it still sucks. I hurt all the time. “Well, here’s your prescription for Tramadol, see you in six months,” my doctor spends TIME with me. I get to email him and I get replies within a few hours. From him. Not a nurse. From my doctor.

But I know all too well that my situation is NOT THE NORM. I know personally what it’s like to be treated like a pill-seeking drug addict, guilty until proven innocent (i.e., those unconstitutional drug tests – that I must PAY FOR), I know what it’s like to be shamed and cut off from my meds – just like that. A snap of a finger. Although my pharmacists have NEVER treated me like a druggie, I know from reading other’s experiences where some refuse to fill the valid script! Or shame them in front of other customers! We in chronic pain are not the problem, but we’re treated as if we’re the solution, by making folks pee in a cup, or show up – get this – within the hour of being called – with their prescription bottle to count the pills.

The war on pills is never going to succeed, just like the war on drugs. Is it any more difficult to get weed? Pills? Heroin? Meth? Cocaine? Ummmmmmmmm, NO. I use cannabis to relieve my pain, stimulate my appetite, and help me sleep, and have done so for over a decade. It’s no more difficult to obtain today than 10 years ago. As a matter of fact, the plant has been developed stronger, and better. What I’m trying to say is, the junkies out there? Will continue to steal pills to sell them on the street. They will obtain the pills just as easily as they did before.

But those of us with chronic pain? We pay their price.  …

Wow. That was supposed to be a short and sweet introduction to what I really wanted to talk about. Ha! My new doctor, the one who knows his shit, figured out immediately – on my first visit – that my combination of meds were not effective in treating my fibromyalgia. He drew a picture showing how all of the different meds work together. I was on the wrong combination – and had been – for the last decade. So let’s start switching meds, but only one at a time. So the first to go was the wicked Tramadol.

Those that have told us that Tramadol is not addictive certainly have never taken the drug. Not addictive? I’ll tell you what happens when you wean off of Tramadol: a non joy ride through mood swings, panic attacks, frustrating insomnia, night sweats, terrible irritable bitchiness, sadness, depression, and utter lethargy. As in can’t keep my eyes open, until it’s 3:00 a.m. and then I’m up. Up up up up up up with pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain

Finally, it ended. After several months, the wave of withdrawals from the wicked, evil Tramadol subsided. About fricking time. Now I could switch to a different medication, and after several dosage adjustments, it’s working. I feel much – oh so much – better. So the switch to one med got me off of two.

As I told my doctor, after losing my mind – like not knowing words – and gaining 15 pounds in three months without changing eating habits, AND while exercising at least an hour per day, it’s time to get off the even more wicked, evil, oh-so-deceptive Lyrica. From what I’ve read, I’m in for a heck of a ride. This stuff? I have to wean off of very carefully – and not as quickly as I did the Tramadol. Doc agreed. I will follow the weaning schedule, just so I can switch to another med.

Now I forgot my train of thought. This happens quite frequently – yet another reason to rid my body of wicked, evil Lyrica. This drug actually did lessen the pain signals in my body, and it’s a shame the side effects are so awful. Just yet another medicine I’ve tried.

Frickin’ frackin’ here we go again. Fasten your seat belts and hold onto the bars.

Yes, Virginia, There IS a Santa Claus!

Somebody pinch me because I couldn’t possibly be awake! Why? Because I saw a doctor, a family physician, who believes in treating the whole patient AND he treats fibromyalgia patients. AND he spent well over an hour with me today for a “meet and greet” that turned into a first appointment. You’d think that would be enough! But no … there’s more!

He explained more about fibromyalgia and how it’s treated in an hour than I’ve heard in the last 20 years combined. Instead of throwing a prescription of Tramadol my way, he really explained (even drew on paper) how each class of medication works to treat the fibromyalgia pain, something I never knew. He wants to wean me off the Tramadol I’ve taken for almost 20 years, and start fresh with a new regime. YAY! It’s about time! Those Tramadol are indeed addictive yet they are not nearly as effective for me anymore. This doctor explained that the Tramadol actually interfere with narcotics. So no wonder I’ve still been in pain! I’m pleased that he sees what I’m on hasn’t worked and is willing to try new things. But only one weaning me off one med at a time. Another yay! And obviously a smart doctor.

So how did I find this wonderful doctor? Actually through one of my best friends, one I reconnected with after a long absence in each other’s lives. She, too, suffers from chronic pain, but hasn’t had any issues like I have getting any pain relief (prescriptions) or having to go through those unconstitutional drug tests to get those prescriptions. For months she’s asked “why don’t you see my doctor?” Finally, it’s like a light bulb went off. Why don’t I see if her doctor is accepting any new patients? And then after I studied him, I was really impressed; one of his many awards is a Compassionate Doctor award. That’s what I’m looking for.

I found a great doctor willing to TREAT ME! Really treat me! And not be afraid of writing a prescription for pain medication. And really treating me, that’s the important thing. You just don’t know how happy I am! There is hope!

Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus and he’s a doctor. My doctor now. An early Christmas present! He’s even seeing me BEFORE the holidays so he can make sure I’m properly medicated to avoid/handle the impending fibro flare. Is he good or what?!?

P.S. I even was honest about everything that I have done for my pain, including cannabis use. He asked “which strain?”

The Fears of a Chronic Pain Sufferer

What if I cannot get another prescription for my hydrocodone measly 5 mg. for my pain? What if my doctor won’t change my prescription for a larger dose that might actually kick my pain? What if I can’t get any pills between now and when  finally see a pain management doctor in December? What if I have to take that mandatory drug test and get a dirty result for THC, even though I plan to quit 45 days in advance? What if I can’t ever get pain pills after that?

What if the pharmacy flags me as a drug seeker because of all the prescriptions I have (including the narcotics)? What if my previous doctor (that I fired!) sends my records before I ever meet the pain doctor and screws me over?

What if I have to suffer this pain without any marijuana OR pain pills?

Why should I have to worry about the ability to get a prescription for a well-documented case of pain that I have suffered over 20 years? Why should I be presumed guilty and have to submit to, in my opinion, unconstitutional drug tests, just to receive a prescription to help me live? Do I have to do that for my blood pressure medicine? Do diabetes patients have to pee in a cup to get their insulin? Why are we treated like drug addicts? Why do physicians, nurses, and even pharmacists treat some people like drug seekers when all they do is suffer from constant pain? What if that becomes me?

Why should I have any of these questions?

WHY?

It Stinks Around Here

While no leisurely time to post lately, I’ve read way too many horror stories about the way people have been treated trying to obtain pain prescriptions for their LEGITIMATE pain. I know in my case, the fibromyalgia is an invisible disease, as you certainly cannot look at me and know that right now, I’m almost in tears, I hurt so much. But my doctor can tell, MRIs and Xrays don’t lie. A neck fusion surgery doesn’t lie. Getting Toradol shots, going to physical therapy, weekly massages, they all don’t lie. Pain doesn’t lie. WE DON’T LIE. I’d like to suggest, if a doctor cannot establish enough of a rapport with his/her patient to be able to discern whether or not their pain is REAL and very much PAINFUL, then that doc isn’t worth a darn. I’d also like to suggest that if a doctor is more fearful of the DEA and says, “I’m not writing you a prescription because I don’t want to lose my license,” and won’t treat YOU – the PATIENT – it’s time for the doctor to put away the pen and the prescription pad. Yep, close your doors. Find a different way of life. Just like some like to say, “snap out of it!” I’d like to counter, if you really think that I could just snap away my pain, why in the heck didn’t I just do that years ago?!? Do you think I’d like to remain in pain? Oh heck no. No, no, no.

Do you think my pain will ever end? Nope, no matter what the pain pills are, the pain is NEVER LEAVING. My fibromyalgia will never improve, it will never leave, it will ALWAYS BE WITH ME. Yep, my constant unwanted partner, my ever growing pain, right along side me for the REST OF MY LIFE. I try not to dwell on that, just reading it is depressing. deep heavy sigh

So, with that said, I’d like to suggest to all: don’t EVER judge a person by their outward appearance. Just because you can’t see fibromyalgia written all over me, I have a real disease, with real pain, that really sucks. Treat me with compassion, and please, please don’t suggest that “a little exercise will make you feel better,” “have you tried Tylenol PM?” (oh my, my eyes just dropped out the back of my head), or “you’re going to become addicted to those!” If I had eyes in my sockets, they’d fall out again. I’m not asking you to feel my pain, just to treat me like you’d treat anybody else.

Because I? Am way stronger than my pain. But I? have a very low tolerance for bullshit, which unfortunately, those of us in chronic pain? We get way more than our load of crap.

… I don’t know any way to end this than to say, “Gosh, it stinks around here!”